most christmas playlists are like background noise for holiday shopping or the music of a holiday party. they’re a little more upbeat, but almost ambient in the sense of like they’re not meant to be totally focused on all the time. we decided the trash garbage take on a christmas playlist isn’t an “ironic” christmas music playlist of non-christmas music, is almost “Fuck you, This is Just The Entirety Of The Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack”, but is, perhaps, a sleepytime christmas playlist kinda antithetical to most christmas playlists.

mostly christmas jazz, but some piano covers from Game Boy Advance RPG that isn’t not christmas either.

let the robot bring you money while you rest

Regards, Webmaster! Unlike a lot of emails you might get, I wanted to instead provide you with a word of encouragement – Congratulations

What for?

Part of my job is to check out websites and the work you’ve done definitely stands out. It’s clear you took building a website seriously and made a real investment of time and resources into making it top quality.

There is, however, a catch… more accurately, a question…

So when someone like me happens to find your site – maybe at the top of the search results (nice job BTW) or just through a random link, how do you know?

To that end we must ask ourselves, what is knowledge? What defines a thing that which is known? Can this be known? Is this not a recursive act, to conceive of a definition which would require its own definition to finalize itself? Is knowledge possible?

Yes! Passive income opportunities are abound! AI, crypto, AND make money online? All of this and more! Act fast! Sleep. Reap rewards. In a hectic as well as very affordable world, reliable interaction has actually come to be more critical than ever; let the robot bring you money while you rest. The studies show 7 out of 10 visitors don’t hang around – you can’t afford to lose them! You can’t afford to sleep on this opportunity to grow now. You can’t afford to sleep.

You can’t afford to rest. Let the robot do it for you. AI boom. Chatgpt. Eric Adams hustle bracelet. Let the robot bring you money while you rest. You can’t afford to rest. You can’t rest. You can’t.


perfect albums but they’re in the SM64 soundfont

is this a genre now because I keep* seeing these and

*ok so it’s just, like, 2. But I will keep TABS on this beat as this obvious zeitgeist evolves.

update January 23, 2024

god a lot of these are not good. almost a year later and I only found a single song that slaps.

extremely cursed speedrun energy

hello friendos time for cozy strem! 😀

this is a loud, noisy, possibly too distracting to be a work music playlist work music playlist. like you need to have more focus today than you’d get from pulling up youtube, but you also don’t exactly need to tackle new problems for that matter. the nightmare youngest sibling of agdqlike and I Hide Down In My Corner Because I Like My Corner. the playlist that made me add hyperpop and drone to the categories list. the playlist version of a speedrun of metroid prime that you immediately had to hit pause on because you got too busy and then had three cups of coffee. a day where you feel like you’re drowning in email and the only way out is through and you need to be enveloped in music mirroring this frenzy and the frenzy may or may not be real. is the game cursed is the speedrun cursed are you cursed these are not the important questions just vibe for a bit.

slice of life trashfire vibes

Hurting. Longing. Dancing to disco music.

A soundtrack to uneventful teenage days. Not the angsty side of youth, but the biding your time of youth. Music your cooler friends listen to that lodge in your head for processing, vibes from video games that incongruously feel like hanging out at the mall, something something identity. A cross between getting a ride from a friend so you don’t have to take the school bus and a Makoto Shinkai movie. Sort of works either as a playlist for work music or for waiting for everyone to arrive for book club.

junction system

a weirder, purposefully contrarian take on materia system that maybe overthought being “different” a little too hard. you have to read “junction system” in thorhighheels’s voice.

another work music playlist with the purpose of grounding you (it is gentle, and all songs prominently feature strings) while enabling dissociation (it weaves in songs from video game or movie soundtracks, indulging an escapist mood in a work playlist that knows you’d rather not think about work). except this time sometimes people are singing or it’s a godspeed you! black emperor song that’s approximately 4 days long.

i’ve only played some of final fantasy viii so sorry if i left out A Banger but i sure as shit scoured spotify for an appropriate cover of the triple triad music because i at least knew that much.

Dance Dance Revolution

Recently I have had a problem where I want to listen to all the terrible DDR music of my youth, but every playlist is literally just the licenses from the PS2 games, so instead of like… Boys, by Smile.dk, it’s like Temperature by Sean Paul, which is NOT what I’m looking for. I have now remedied the situation. For the world.

This is, perhaps obviously but we’ll get to that, a playlist of music featured on the critically acclaimed music game Dance Dance Revolution. I had pretty specific criteria for this, and I feel obligated to explain it, because hell hath no fury like a bemani nerd who feels the need to correct someone.

First, the songs present on a version of a DDR game are not consistent between versions. The Japanese versions of the game were released on PlayStation and Arcade versions initially, and the songlists between the two are largely consistent. However, America is a much different story. The song licenses that are often present on a DDR game are not present in their American PlayStation counterparts, which can result in deviation from the arcade list. If you grew up playing DDR Extreme (2002) or DDRMAX (2001) on your PS2 and at one point were delighted during a family vacation to find an arcade cabinet with a similar name, you were probably disappointed to find that none of the songs that you remembered from your PlayStation 2 version were present. Song lists on the US PlayStation 2 versions tended to be tremendously cut down because of this whole deal with the licenses. So you loaded up, excited to play UK garage legend Spin Spin Sugar (Armand’s Dark Garage Remix)* and instead found a bunch of completely unapproachable eurodance versions of 80s pop songs. Fun trick!

(Then you just played Butterfly, by Smile.dk 3 songs in a row. Don’t lie, I know that’s what you did.)

So, to finally explain what exactly is going on here, this playlist is every song from DDR 1st Mix (1998) (that’s the one just called “Dance Dance Revolution” [1998]) to DDR 8th Mix (that’s the one you likely remember as DDR Extreme [2002].) Additionally/unfortunately/capitalismly, this playlist only contains the songs available on Spotify, which means that this is missing every single Konami original song from the series, which means this is sadly not the first Trash Garbage Playlist to feature MAX 300. The final criteria for curating this playlist was an attempt to put the full-length, actual version of the song that appeared in DDR. Sometimes this is the original song, but usually this is a Eurodance cover of it. So if you remember a song that’s present on DDR (eg, “We Will Rock You”) that’s not present in this playlist, it’s likely because I could not find the version used in DDR on Spotify as of May 20, 2022.

Now we can start discussing the weird stuff. Nothing was weird up to this point. Things are about to get weird starting now.

Early versions of DDR used a numbering system where they just referred to themselves as “Nth Mix”, with occasional subtitles if there was a different version of the game (eg, 3rd Mix [1999] had 2 versions released specifically for the Korean Market, and 2nd Mix [1999] had a curious version called Substream where it could be linked with a beatmania IIDX [1999] cabinet, and beatmania and DDR players could play songs at the same time. I have always wanted to try this, somewhere, but I don’t think the stars will ever align to enable this.) Later versions of DDR would feature subtitles (DDR 6th Mix going by DDRMAX, 7th Mix going by DDRMAX2) and by the release of SuperNOVA [2006] (the sequel to DDR Extreme aka 8th Mix), they dropped the numbering scheme altogether and just referenced each game by title, which means that Dance Dance Revolution X (2008) is the 11th game in the series, bugging me to no end.

Nothing has bugged me up until this point. We are now getting to the– actually, no, the Spotify stuff bugs me. But, you know. Back to the fun.

The very specific criteria for this Trash Garbage–curated DDR playlist include, naturally, two-tone legends The Specials, who were inexplicably selected for the first version of Dance Dance Revolution with the song “Little Bitch”. Interestingly, this was one of the more difficult songs in the game at the time of release. Pick it up!

It’s also worth mentioning that most of the licenses that came on the DDR arcade version were from a series of compilation albums known as Dancemania, a Japan-only release that featured eurodance or eurobeat remixes of popular songs. This should further explain why most of this was not available in non-Japanese Spotify regions until recently. Even still, most of this music is not present as part of Dancemania compilations, but instead manifests on this streaming site in a way that I find endlessly amusing: because most of these songs are well known pop songs covered in a eurodance style that’s about 130 beats per minute, it makes them absolute perfect fodder to run a spin class or similar group exercise class to, which means that an overwhelming number of these are attributed to albums like “ULTIMATE WORKOUT JAMS TO SWEAT TO 54”.

I should also mention that because this is only the arcade version’s licenses, none of the PS2 songs appear here, which means that I was surprised a couple times with “I didn’t know that made it to the arcade version.” Chiefly surprising among these was Duran Duran’s “The Reflex”.

In conclusion, I do not endorse capitalism, even though in a way capitalism is what made the curation nightmare that is this playlist fun. You’re having fun, right?

wrapping up the work week

the other end of checking your work email on monday morning. a lot of genres, but it’s all friday. less of a getting coffee and drilling down to work playlist and more of a soaking up the morning light and the last cup of coffee of the work week playlist. yesterday was thursday. today, it is friday.

2 Hours of Relaxing Video Game Music (Except the Video Games Don’t Exist)

Smash that like button! Here’s a playlist of relaxing game music from some of the best video games of all time you may remember from your childhood except that you definitely don’t remember these games because they never existed. No copyright infringement intended! Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!

[0:00] SNES Start-Up Theme, “Start-Up Theme”
[2:14] Bonk Donk’s Puzzle Bop, “Quiescence of the Damned”
[5:26] Zelda 3: Oops, All Zeldas, “Overworld Theme”
[8:79] Untitled Dragon Game, “Fire (Fire World)”
[9:14] Mario Teaches Skyping, “Caps Lock”
[11:11] Sonic vs Marvel, “マルラバ”
[13:14] Chaos Squad, “Map 2”
[17:12] SNES 2 Start-Up Theme, “Start-Up Theme”
[21:43] Start Fox (Japanese Release Only), “Fuck Ronald Reagan”
[24:17] Mario vs Marvel, “Insert Coins to Continue”
[25:17] Good Will Hunting: The Game, “It’s Not Your Fault (Final Boss Remix)”
[29:92] Apricots, “Apricots”
[30:07] Final Fantasy II (Unreleased), “Garland Was Your Dad The Whole Time”
[31:17] Spacegoblins IV, “Jupiter vs Baphomet”
[33:18] Dragonopolis, “Dragon Theme”
[44:19] Call of Duty: Iran–Contra Affair, “Item Shop”
[52:22] Wordle 201 3/6
[1:33:18] SNES, “End Credits”
[1:35:99] Shiv Megami Tensei, “Back Dat Ass Up”
[1:42:19] Final Fantasy 3D, “Enter The Dragon”
[1:44:02] Marvel vs Marvel, “No Gods No Masters”
[1:49:01] Beep Boop, “Boop Beep”
[2:00:00] Super 3D Noah’s Arc, “This One Existed Actually, Google It”